Were you taught “first-time obedience”?

girl s white and gray crew neck top holding gray wire fence
Photo by namo deet on Pexels.com


In the fall of 2o15 I began reading blogs that confirmed an idea I had been formulating the previous few years:  that is, that some homeschooled kids were raised in boxes with no freedom of choice, no freedom of religion. Next, I found Eleanor Skelton’s site – she was homeschooled, and the subtitle of her blog is, “a girl who was raised in a box”!

So in an effort to share the love of God with homeschool graduates — teens who had been homeschooled all of their life — in December of 2015, I created this ‘Mom For Freedom’ website. What I want to offer my readers is a second chance to know God and His love for them.

I am writing as someone who LOVES the homeschooling movement.  I really enjoyed the 15 years I spent homeschooling my own three kids; I am so thankful for the close relationships that were produced.

Despite my love for home education, I do acknowledge that there are some huge problems out there.  “First-time obedience” being among the biggest ones, in my opinion.


Did your parent view you as a robot whom they would program into an exact replica of themselves?  If so, you may now be quite bitter. You may have given up on God.

He does exist; He is good; He is a God of grace and mercy; He is actively pursuing you. If you did not get to know Him personally in your childhood, please don’t give up on Him. He is calling out to you. He wants you to believe Him. He wants to give you His Spirit, His very life.

Once you believe in the gospel and are born again by His Spirit, He has no expectations of you. Your job from then on is to live a life of rest, peace, trust and freedom.

I completed 15 years of homeschooling, and could have easily ended up with three bitter bloggers with horror stories like the ones we read at Homeschoolers Anonymous. After all, I was pretty hard on my kids at times. I used to get furious at them when they messed up, acted sinful and made me look bad.  For ten years I tried to mold our three kids into obedient little Christians just like their mother. Problems ensued. What I once saw as my stellar obedience to God, I began to see as vanity. I was forced to give up. Jesus was right there waiting for me.

This is what bothers me . . . all three of my children accepted the Lord around age six . . . but, was that a real conversion? No; I don’t think so. So when we talk about the large number of Christian kids who are “leaving the faith,” well, what if they were never truly part of the faith to begin with?

What do you think? When you got saved at age five or six, was that real for you? Maybe it was, and if you were truly saved, that’s awesome. But perhaps it was not real. Perhaps you were just going along with the family culture in an effort to be an obedient, good little child. Perhaps the good news remains hidden to you?

Have you ever truly believed in the gospel?

The gospel is good news because it solves a very serious problem:  spiritual death. Has Jesus Christ’s resurrected life been given to you yet? Do you know that you were once a hopeless sinner who was dead in sins and transgressions? Did you respond in faith to the message that only Jesus Christ could give real life – spiritual life – to your mortal body?

Christian parents teach their kids to obey them. Homeschooling parents teach obedience as a school subject! We buy “character building” curricula to teach our kids to obey “immediately and cheerfully.”

Is it any wonder that our six-year olds accept Jesus at our urging?

“Oh, Johnny! Jesus wants to save you from hell; you just need to accept Him and believe in the gospel. Will you accept Jesus?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Praise God! You got saved, Johnny!”

Johnny was taught “first-time obedience.”

Johnny has needs; he needs to be accepted by his parents, for one. His strong need for acceptance causes him to act the part for the next 10 or 12 years . . . but when he is old enough to think for himself, will he discover that he doesn’t know the Lord Jesus personally? How many homeschool graduates do you know who have turned to drugs, to atheism, to the homosexual community, to ANY community that will accept them!?

However, the worst outcome happens when the homeschool graduate remains religious. They like the lifestyle presented by their church; they fit in there. They are now confirmed legalists, who may or may not actually be born again believers – new creatures in Christ. They will be the most difficult to reach, but I want to try and help them too.


March 28, 2016

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s