What’s the deal with Debi Pearl?

Have you ever read the book, “Created to be his Help Meet?”  I have.  It’s helped countless number of women to be better wives:  nicer, fairer, more gracious.  It certainly helped me!

But what’s the deal with the book?  What’s the deal with the behavior it generates in women?  What’s the deal with the degrading advice, and the overall tone that asserts that wives are to be subservient to their husbands?

Debi Pearl basically says, “God created man in His image; then He created Eve from Adam’s rib.  So, Eve was created in Adam’s image.  Not God’s.”

Therefore . . . Adam has worth.  Adam has purpose and meaning.  Eve?  Well . . . do what Adam says, okay?

Don’t get me wrong.  I liked the book A LOT at one time.  For a few years, I enjoyed the person I had become.  I enjoyed the fairy tale marriage I produced.  But the problem was, as the years went by, I grew in the Lord.  I began to see Debi Pearl’s book for what it was:  a formula.  A set of legalistic rules and guidelines and principles to live by.

My friends and I (who had formed a ‘Created to be his Help-Meet’ book club, to discuss and go over every nuance of every page) eventually tired of the BS.

Years later, my husband would tell me, “you’ve become a smartass.”

Well, not really.  It’s just that I was not kissing his feet anymore.  I was not afraid of him anymore.  I was maturing in my life in Christ and was therefore becoming more me.  The shackles of religion were falling off, and I was being set free.

Okay.  So, to answer the question, “what’s the deal with her book?”  Well, I don’t know.  It’s just a very in-your-face, c’mon-stop-complaining-about-him kind of book.  Debi Pearl makes the claim that every wife has something against her husband, some grudge, some complaint, some “thing” that is hindering her from really enjoying married life.  And Debi is right in most cases.  Let’s face it, wives . . . we are forever trying to control those poor boys, are we not?  (Hello!  The curse of Genesis 3!)

Man, we need to let it go.

But don’t use Debi Pearl’s book as your impetus.  Use the grace of God.

Learn that God does not expect you to be perfect, so that you can give your husband grace for not being perfect either.

Learn that God has totally forgiven you of all your sins – past, present and future – so that you can learn to forgive your husband’s sins.

Learn that God relates to you through the New Covenant, through your inheritance in Christ, and that you are essentially a trillionaire princess daughter of the King of the Universe . . . so that you won’t really expect that much of your husband.

Poor guy’s only human after all.


February 6, 2017

Were you taught “first-time obedience”?

After spending 14 years in my local homeschool community, I am compelled to reach out to the kids who were raised in Christian homes, who were expected to be Christians themselves, but who never actually repented of their unbelief and believed in the gospel for themselves.


Finding “Real Life” in Jesus Christ

photo of butterfly
Photo by anurag potai on Pexels.com


Jesus said that He wants us to have life, and to have it more abundantly, right? I took an entire class on this verse while in Bible College.  “The Abundant Life 101.”

I don’t remember a thing from that class.  In fact, I didn’t learn much of anything about the true and living God during my four years at Bible College.

Real learning for me happened after I began homeschooling. I thank homeschooling for my real education. During those years I learned to make sense of the Bible, but I also learned that ‘learning’ is fun!  Honeybee colonies, and galaxies, and the difference between object pronouns and subject pronouns…so many wonderful things to learn!

Most importantly, after about seven years of homeschooling, I learned that my devotion to Christianity’s rules and regulations had turned me into a raging meanie who had lost touch with reality.

That was an important thing to learn because God used that awareness to bring me back to Him. Real life began again. He reminded me of the joy of my salvation; He once again provided me with that glorious joy that only He can give.

I began to grow in grace and in the knowledge of Him. As I grew to know Him and His love for me, and perhaps more importantly, His acceptance of me, I began to understand what Jesus meant when He said that ‘He came so that we might have life.’

There is no real life apart from the Lord.  Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. He is the resurrection and the life.

John 5:26 also talks about this “real life.”

“For just as the Father has life in Himself, even so He gave to the Son also to have life in Himself.”

Life begins by responding to Him in faith, and by believing in what He has already done for you: Jesus Christ died, was buried and then He rose again.  When you believe in the gospel you receive spiritual life.  The life that you receive is Him, His Spirit.

Real life begins there… and it never ends.  We have been given an eternal life.  As we walk in the Spirit, we are trusting Him.  We trust Him today, tomorrow and we will trust Him for all of eternity.

Let’s continue trusting Him every day and in every circumstance.


February 25, 2016