Empty and unsatisfied

Why do I get continually deceived into believing that the things of this world can fill me up and satisfy me? It always leads to disappointment and sadness and even despair. But, then my tender loving God gives me a nudge and reminds me that I feel “empty” because I was created to be filled by HIM; that only He can meet my deep longing for love and acceptance, meaning and purpose.

I’m a highly sensitive and overly emotional person. Maybe for that reason, the Lord God relates to me mainly through emotions. He has a unique relationship with each of His children, but with me and Him, there is a lot of crying. Sometimes I think that I have the spiritual gift of “crying His tears,” but I don’t remember seeing that one listed in Romans or Corinthians.

He also shares a lot of the “feel good” emotions with me too, so today I am copying a section from my diary about His joyous love!

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(Diary entry from September 14, 2016)

“You love me. My beloved is mine. You called me – You drew me to Yourself. You waited – You saved me. I received Your life. You made Yourself known. I became a new creation! I was amazed by the truth – by YOU. It was real – to be born again. It’s real!

I walked in the Spirit. I drifted. I became tempted by the Law. The devil engaged me in battle. He used the lie – if you only know what is good, and do that; and if you only know what is evil, and you avoid that, then you can be like God.

And I believed his lie! I gave it my all. I was zealous for Legalism.

I even moved away and went to Bible College. It got worse. I could then be devoted to legalism 7 days a week / 24 hours a day.

…I was proud. I was confident that I was sanctifying myself – what a FOOL.

But I had always wanted to get married… (And so I did.)

The early years of our marriage were hard. I didn’t feel cherished. I didn’t really feel loved. We just weren’t soul mates. We weren’t “made for each other.” …

I expected my husband to be a believer. He didn’t act like one. We didn’t share the same faith. Recently, he admitted that he may have faked it. May have lied. He really just wanted to get married.

I struggled a lot those 1st seven years. They were hard. So much I did not understand. My husband had given up trying to live a life that he could not live. Christianity became one big, huge burden. He threw it off completely when our 3rd-born was a baby. From 2002 – 2004 I went to church by myself. Downcast. Sad. Angry. Resentful. Frustrated. Questioning . . .

I was supposed to be a Christian. But I sure wasn’t acting like it. The emptiness and futility of my “Christian effort” was proving to be a waste. Why was I so hateful? Where was the love and kindness and forgiveness? It was like when someone realizes they are living in the Matrix. I was waking up. I was beginning to see the bars of my cage. My eyes were opening. I still could not see clearly.

I had doubts. I had questions. NO! It’s not possible that I am a prisoner of war. But, I was! It would take a few more years for me to see that fact clearly.

First, I had to quit church. In 2005, I stopped going to church.

Those two years were remarkable and eye-opening. Then in 2007, I found Bob George. Read his book, Classic Christianity.

Next, I found Aaron Budjen. Aaron. That mighty warrior for the Lord. Then I found out about his Bible Studies. But it was mainly through listening to his CD’s and radio programs – and by listening to his Radio Archive through his website that I began to GROW!

I began to grow up in every way. As soon as I grasped the fact that I was a forgiven person . . . the chains fell off. The prison cage fell away. The strongholds fell down. MY THINKING BECAME OBEDIENT TO CHRIST! 🙂

“Take every thought captive…”

The only way that is possible is to believe in the gospel. Believe in the simplicity of what He has done.

Oh! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

He first loved me! So I love Him! I love my brothers and sisters too! We are a family. 🙂

I love the way You are leading me, Lord. You are preparing the works for me to walk in. You lead me. You use me. You teach me.

(It’s too good to be true!)

But it IS true! It is real. The God of the Universe is my Lord and my friend!

Thank you Mighty Father!

Lisa

Should I feel ashamed???

When you sin, do you ever stop and think about it — in the moment — and ask yourself questions like, “Is this sin?” Or, “Should I feel ashamed right now?” Or perhaps, . . . “Am I breaking some rule here!!!!?”

Yes? No? No . . . you are not a rules-oriented Pharisee like me!? 

Well, even though I still sometimes ask myself such questions, it really doesn’t affect me too much, because I do not ever feel ashamed. I am 100% secure in His acceptance of me.

I read this verse the other day (copied below) and it really struck me; it says the sacrifices offered under the Old Covenant could not take away the consciousness of sin from the people.

Hebrews 10:2, “Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, because the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have had consciousness of sins.”

What struck me is that, this implies that in the New Covenant, His resurrected life in us HAS taken away the consciousness of sin!

Christ died for ALL of our sins. He nailed them ALL to the cross. He brought an end to the Law of Moses, and he brought an end to the topic of sin. It is not an issue between us and God anymore!!

Even though we still sin every day, He sees us as saints. Being a completely forgiven person IS our identity in Christ.

This doesn’t make us desirous for a bunch of evil all of a sudden! No, the knowledge of the truth makes us fall in love with our God!! So we start walking with Him, walking in the Spirit. And as He guides us, Our God will never lead us to commit evil, to hurt other people or Himself. We can TRUST His guidance, that He will always lead us to love others.

So, we live our life trusting Him, not walking around being conscience of our sins and thinking to ourselves “I can sin and it doesn’t matter.” Or, “I don’t sin anymore because I don’t want to.” Neither one of those is exactly right. We still sin, sometimes we want to, but the sin issue is OVER so we just do not have consciousness of it anymore.

We no longer have a guilty conscience. We have a clean conscience thanks to Jesus, even in the midst of our sinfulness!!

May 14, 2022

God loves me? So what? He loves everyone.

My daughter once said this to me, “There is nothing special about God loving me, because He loves everyone.”

The thing is, however, that is a falsehood. It is not true that He loves everyone, because love is a verb. Therefore, He can only technically “love” (give His love to) those who have said yes to Him.

So when someone actually believes the good news and receives the salvation that He has spent thousands of years preparing . . . It is so thrilling to Him, that He and all of the angels rejoice over you!!! They throw a party!

🎶

And once you have accepted the free gift of the Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, then our God is absolutely delighted in you. He delights in you — He loves you — because you have trusted Him. Your faith is so pleasing to Him. He could not be any happier with you; you are perfect in His eyes because of your faith. 

He is a God of deep emotion, and He is madly in love with you, if you have believed in the Gospel and received His Holy Spirit inside of you; we could almost say that He is infatuated with you.

Your belief in the Gospel pleases Him so much because it proves to Him that you have chosen Him, and no longer reject Him. Sadly, our Heavenly Father is quite familiar with rejection. He knows what it feels like to have His heart broken.

But we are not among those who have broken Him heart. Especially those of us who rest in His finished work on the Cross. We who have been set free from religion, are especially pleasing to Him because, now that we have entered the new covenant, we can grow to know Him and He can know us too, and that’s really all He cares about:  

a close, personal, intimate Relationship with you!!! ❤️

The Good News is so good!!! Let’s smile, and laugh and rejoice with Him today!